Happy Sunday, dads.
Two weeks from today is Father’s Day. Let that sink in.
And before you scroll past that thinking it’s just another Hallmark moment, stay with me for a second.
Most dads spend Father’s Day being celebrated. Breakfast in bed, a card with crayon handwriting, maybe a new pair of socks. And that’s great. But here’s the question I’ve been sitting with this week: what kind of dad do you actually want to be by the time that day rolls around?
Not what gift you want. Not what restaurant you’re going to. What kind of dad do you actually want to be?
Because Father’s Day isn’t really about one day, it’s a reflection of the 364 days before it. The conversations you had. The times you showed up. The moments you chose your kid over your phone, your stress, your distraction. It’s a report card, and the grading period ends in two weeks.
So that’s what this edition is about. Not the celebration. The preparation. The becoming. Two weeks to be intentional about the dad you want your kids to celebrate, and more importantly, the dad you want to be.
Let’s build toward it.
And if you’re new here, welcome to The DadGenda Dispatch. You picked a good weekend to show up.
Two weeks out from Father’s Day, and this week’s challenges are about the simplest, hardest thing a dad can do right now. Put the phone down. Not forever. Not even for that long. Just long enough to remember what it feels like to actually be in the room.
For one hour tonight, your phone goes in another room. Not on silent. Not face-down on the counter. In another room. Then just notice: how many times does your hand reach for something that isn’t there? How strong is the urge to check something? And what do you actually do with that hour when the default option is gone?
You can’t be fully present with anyone if you can’t be present without the device in your pocket. One hour. Phone gone. That’s the whole flex.
Tonight at dinner, the phone goes in another room. Not face-down on the table. Not on the counter where you can still see it light up. Gone. One meal, fully there with whoever is at that table.
No checking between bites. No “just one second.” If something blows up at work in the next 30 minutes, it’ll still be there when dinner’s over. But here’s what won’t wait: your kids are watching right now to see whether they have to compete with a screen for your attention. Tonight, the answer is no. They don’t.
With Father’s Day two weeks away, this is one of the simplest things you can do to start showing up differently. One dinner. Full attention. That’s it.
The DadderUp app drops a fresh Dad Flex daily, built for the kind of dad who doesn’t wait for the new year to level up. Download it and start tomorrow.
From our conversation with Dr. Daniel Puhlman, Assistant Professor of Family Studies at the University of Maine, Director of the Parenting Relationships Research Lab, and creator of the maternal gatekeeping scale.
Dan has spent over 15 years studying what makes fathers stay connected to their kids, through divorce, conflict, custody battles, and everything in between. And one thing keeps coming up in both the research and the therapy room: dads who don’t take care of themselves eventually stop showing up the way they want to.
Not because they stopped caring. But because unaddressed stress, anger, and emotional weight bleed out onto the kids, into the relationship, into every interaction. Kids feel it even when you don’t say a word. And when they feel it enough, they start pulling away from the very dad who’s trying his hardest to be there.
His advice is simple but easy to skip: take care of yourself first. Seek out support. Validate your own feelings before you walk through the door.
Because the version of you that shows up for your kids on Father’s Day, and every day before it, is a direct reflection of the work you’re doing on yourself when nobody’s watching.
Two weeks out. What are you doing for yourself so that you can show up better for them?
“What does it actually mean to be a dad worth celebrating?”
— Marcus, dad of four, DadderUp community
I want to be upfront. I’m not answering this one from a place of having it figured out. I’m a work in progress, same as everyone reading this. I’ve had the distracted evenings. I’ve missed things I shouldn’t have missed. I’ve had to go back and apologize to my kids for showing up as a half version of myself. So take this as one dad talking to another, not a guy on a pedestal.
With that said, here’s what I’ve learned. It’s not the big gestures. It’s not the vacations, the perfect weekends, or the highlight-reel stuff. Those are great, but that’s not what your kids are keeping score on.
What they remember is whether you were actually there. Not just physically in the room, actually there. Did you look up from your phone when they were talking? Did you show up to the thing that mattered to them even when it didn’t matter to you? Did they ever feel like they had to compete for your attention and lose?
Being a dad worth celebrating isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being consistent. It’s about your kids knowing, not just feeling, but knowing, that you chose them. Over and over again.
Here’s a question worth sitting with this week: if your kids were describing you to someone, what would they actually say? Not what you hope they’d say. What would they actually say? That answer tells you everything about where you are, and what two weeks of intentional effort could change.
A dad worth celebrating isn’t built in a day. But he is built. One rep at a time, one dinner at a time, one real conversation at a time. Start there.
Gilbert is a dad of two. And honestly, he’ll be the first to tell you, he didn’t join DadderUp to be a better dad.
He joined to be a better version of himself. Personal development was already his thing. He was looking for something that would challenge him, push him, make him grow. DadderUp fit that.
But then something shifted.
The questions started making him think differently, not just about himself, but about his kids. The challenges fit into real life without turning every interaction into a production. And before he knew it, the connection that he hadn’t been actively chasing was just there. Real. Consistent. Built without a blueprint.
What Gilbert figured out is something a lot of dads miss: when you invest in yourself, it doesn’t stay contained. It spills out. It shows up in how you listen, how you respond, how you’re able to be in a moment without needing to control it.
With Father’s Day two weeks out, his story is a reminder that the best thing you can do for your kids might just be the work you’re already doing on yourself. Keep going.
What’s your favorite thing about Father’s Day?
The full conversation. Dr. Dan breaks down parental gatekeeping, father involvement, and what the research actually says about why dads matter.
I was standing in the kitchen with the wrong brush and a YouTube tutorial, trying to do a French braid at 40. Here’s what that moment taught me about being a girl dad.
We’ll keep showing up with the emails. All we ask? Father’s Day is two weeks out. If this landed for you, share it with a dad who could use the reminder.
