Happy Sunday, dads.
Andrew here. Quick question before we get into it: When was the last time your week actually went the way you planned it?
Yeah. Me neither.
Between school drop-offs, back-to-back meetings, the kid who suddenly needs a science project by Tuesday, and the pile of stuff you were “definitely going to do this weekend,” the week has a way of running you instead of the other way around.
That’s what we’re digging into this issue. Not a 47-step productivity system. Not a morning routine that requires waking up at 4 AM. Just some real, dad-tested ways to get a grip on your week before it grips you.
Let’s get into it.
And if you’re new here, welcome to The DadGenda Dispatch. Glad you found us. You’re in the right place.
It’s May 17th. Which means April is done. Most dads let one month bleed into the next without ever stopping to take stock. Same patterns, same excuses, slightly different calendar. This week’s two challenges are about breaking that cycle. You’ve still got 14 days left in May. That’s enough time to actually do something with it.
Tonight, write down one thing you’re leaving behind from last month and one thing you’re carrying forward. Be specific. What habit or excuse is done? What wins or disciplines continue? May doesn’t get better on its own. You decide that.
Ask your child one question today: “What’s one thing you want us to do together this month?” Write down exactly what they say. That’s your May mission. By the 31st, you make it happen. Little kids, keep it open and silly. Older kids, give them room to think. Teens, let them dream, then figure out how to make a version of it real.
Want a challenge like this every single day?
The DadderUp app drops a fresh Dad Flex daily, built for the kind of dad who doesn’t wait for the new year to level up. Download it and start tomorrow.
From our conversation with Christopher Brown, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative
Chris raised two daughters. One became a journalist. The other is a school librarian. Two completely different paths, and neither one was his idea. That was kind of the whole point.
He told us that his job was never to steer them. It was to expose them to things, watch what stuck, and then help them build real autonomy around it, the freedom to choose, the skills to actually get good, and eventually a sense of purpose that goes beyond just themselves. That last one, he said, is what turns a passing interest into something they’ll carry their whole life.
The thing that hit closest to home, though? He admitted that the hardest part was resisting the urge to just do things for them. We’ve all been there. It’s faster, it feels like love, and honestly, it just makes the moment easier. But every time you step back and let your kid wrestle with something on their own, even when it’s painful to watch, they come out the other side a little more sure of themselves. And the wild thing is, the more independent they become, the less you actually have to discipline them. They just start doing the right thing on their own.
This week, pick one thing your kid is working on and sit on your hands. Let them figure it out. Just be nearby.
“How do you actually balance being present with your kids when work never really switches off?”
— Gil, dad of two, DadderUp community
Honest answer? I stopped trying to balance it and started being more deliberate about switching.
Balance implies some perfect 50/50 split that honestly doesn’t exist, especially if you’re building something or in a demanding role. Work is going to bleed. That’s just reality. But what I’ve found is that presence isn’t really about time. It’s about attention. You can be home for three hours and completely absent. You can have thirty minutes with your kid and make it count in a way they remember for years.
What actually helped me was creating a hard transition ritual. Something small and physical that tells your brain, “work is done, dad mode is on.” For me, the second I get home, the phone goes in another room. Not in my pocket. Not face-down on the counter. Another room. Sounds stupid simple, but it works. Your brain needs a signal that the day is done. Without one, you just carry that work energy straight into the living room and wonder why you feel disconnected from the people right in front of you.
The other thing (and this is the harder one) is being honest with your kids about it. Not every night is going to be fully present. But when you tell a seven-year-old, “Hey, I’ve got twenty minutes, and they’re all yours, what do you want to do?” They will always have an answer. And those twenty minutes will matter more than a whole distracted evening on the couch.
Stop chasing balance. Chase intentional switching. It’s a game-changer.
Jose is a dad of one. And what I respect about him is that he was honest with himself when most dads aren’t.
He thought he was present. Turns out, he wasn’t.
He believed he could multitask his way through fatherhood, half-there, half-somewhere else, and still show up for his kid. A lot of us do. The difference is that Jose actually stopped and honestly looked at it.
Then he made one change. No screen. Full attention. Not for big moments. Just for the regular ones. The ones that don’t feel like they count until you realize they’re the whole game.
And the regular ones became the moments that mattered most.
That kind of self-awareness is rare. Even rarer is actually doing something about it. Jose did both. And that consistency changed everything for him and for his kid.
Presence isn’t something that happens to you. It’s something you decide. Jose decided. That’s the kind of dad worth paying attention to.
What’s the biggest thing that gets in the way of you being present with your kids?
The full episode where Chris goes deep on what modern fatherhood actually demands and why it matters more than ever.
I break down the five biggest lessons from over 100 hours of conversations with the people who study dads for a living.
We’ll keep showing up with the emails. All we ask? If this landed for you, share it with a dad who’d get something out of it.
