Happy Sunday, dads.
Andrew here. September has a way of making everybody want to reset something.
New routines. New goals. Back on track. Fresh start.
And trust me, I’m all for improvement. But how many times have you told yourself, “I’ll start again on Monday”?
The workout. Putting the phone away. Being more patient. Spending more intentional time with your kids. Then Monday becomes next week, and next week becomes next month.
Sometimes we make progress harder than it needs to be because every time we slip, we act like we’re back at zero.
You snapped at your kid yesterday? Not zero. Spent too much time on your phone? Not zero. Fell out of the routine you were building? Still not zero. You noticed it. Now you get another rep.
Fatherhood doesn’t work in perfect streaks. You’re going to have distracted days, short-tempered mornings, and weeks where work wins more than you wanted it to.
The question isn’t whether you messed up. It’s how quickly you come back.
You don’t need Monday or some dramatic reset. You just need to take the next rep better.
This week, stop starting over. Just keep going.
Let’s get into it.
And if you’re new here, welcome to The Dadder Dispatch. You picked a good weekend to show up.
From our conversation with Bret Suffis, president and owner of Lil Athlete Sports, a Long Island–based youth sports program that helps kids discover confidence, teamwork, and joy through play.
Bret and I got into something I’ve seen with my own daughter. Daniela is talented, but sometimes she can put a lot of pressure on herself. One bad game or tough moment can feel a lot bigger to her than it actually is.
Bret sees the same thing with young athletes, and his advice was simple: compete, learn, grow.
He said kids can actually learn more from failing than winning. The goal isn’t to push the failure away or let it knock you so far down that it becomes hard to climb back.
Take something from it and keep moving. I think dads could use that reminder too.
You lost your patience today? Learn from it. You weren’t as present as you wanted to be? Notice it. Yesterday didn’t go the way you hoped? Fine.
One bad rep doesn’t erase the work you’ve already done. Failure can be part of the growth, but only if you don’t let it convince you to stop.
Take the lesson. Then take the next rep.
“How do you get back on track after a bad week without feeling like all the progress you made before it was for nothing?”
— Chris, dad of three, DadderUp community
I think the hardest part of a bad week is how quickly we turn it into a story about ourselves: “I was doing so well.” “I screwed it up again.” “Here we go. Back to the same old me.”
I know this because I’ve had those thoughts too. But a bad week doesn’t erase the dad you were becoming before it happened.
If you were more patient, more present, putting the phone down, or following through more often, that progress was real. You don’t lose it because you had a few rough days.
What matters now is what you do next. Don’t waste another week beating yourself up over the last one.
If you need to apologize, apologize. If you need to put the phone down tonight, put it down. If you missed something with your kids, show up for the next thing.
You don’t have to prove you’re back on track. You just have to make the next choice a better one. That’s how you come back.
I still remember bringing my first daughter home and having that moment where it was basically, “Okay… now what?”
There are no nurses standing there. No instruction manual. No moment where somebody taps you on the shoulder and says, “You’re ready.” You just become Dad.
Looking back, there are a few things I wish I understood sooner.
I wish I knew I didn’t have to have everything figured out right away, and how important communication becomes when you and your partner are both tired and overwhelmed.
I wish I understood how real the sleep deprivation would be, and gave myself more grace while I was still learning how to be a dad.
And probably most of all, I wish I understood that there would be plenty of moments where I didn’t feel like a great dad. That part doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Fatherhood takes reps. You learn the diaper. You learn the patience. You learn your kid. You learn yourself. Some things click fast. Some take longer.
The funny thing is, while your kid is growing up, you are too. They’re learning how to be a person, and you’re learning how to be their dad.
Neither of you is going to get everything right the first time. And that’s totally okay.
You don’t need all the answers before you begin. You just need to care enough to keep learning as you go.
