Happy Sunday, dads.
It’s officially one week until Father’s Day.
Andrew here. And I want you to think about this week the way an athlete thinks about the days before a big game. Nobody wins the game in the locker room speech. By the time the buzzer’s about to go off, the work is already done, or it isn’t. The outcome was decided in practice, in prep, in the days nobody was watching.
Father’s Day works the same way. The day itself doesn’t have much control over how it feels. What actually shapes it is the week leading up to it, the conversations you have, the promises you follow through on, the moments you choose to show up for instead of letting slide.
So here’s the mindset for this week. Maybe this year hasn’t been your best as a dad. Maybe there’s stuff you wish had gone differently, moments you weren’t present for, conversations you avoided, patience you wish you’d had. That’s real, and it’s okay.
But it doesn’t get to decide what happens next. Forget the whole season. The only thing that matters right now is the next play.
One week out from Father’s Day. What’s your next play?
Let’s get into it.
And if you’re new here, welcome to TheDadder Dispatch. You picked a good weekend to show up.
One week out from Father’s Day, and this week’s challenges are about the thing that actually defines leadership at home: your word. Not what you meant to do. Not what you’ll get to eventually. What you said, and whether it happened. This week, you’re checking one promise and stating one thing your family stands for, out loud, on the record.
Write down one promise you made to your kid recently. Did you keep it? Are you on track to keep it? If not, when does it happen?
Your word to your kid is the most important currency you carry. Every promise kept is a brick in the foundation of trust. Every promise forgotten is a brick they remove. You don’t get to weigh which promises matter to them. They all do.
Write the promise down. Decide today what happens with it. One week out from Father’s Day, this is the kind of move that actually counts.
Today, state one rule of your house out loud to your kid. “In our family, we…” Don’t lecture. Just say it.
“In our family, we say good morning when we see each other.” “In our family, we look people in the eye when we shake their hands.” “In our family, we don’t talk badly about each other to other people.”
Kids who know what their family stands for know what they stand for. Speaking the rule out loud creates identity and belonging, and that’s the kind of legacy that outlasts any Father’s Day gift.
The DadderUp app drops a fresh Dad Flex daily, built for the kind of dad who doesn’t wait for the new year to level up. Download it and start tomorrow.
From our conversation with Dr. Kyle Pruett, a clinical professor of child psychiatry at the Yale Child Study Center, author of The Nurturing Father, and one of the few researchers in the country to study children raised by primary caregiving dads.
Dr. Pruett has spent over four decades researching what kids actually need from their dads, and one of his biggest findings runs counter to what most new dads believe about themselves.
For generations, the unspoken rule was that caregiving — diapers, baths, bedtime routines, hair, all of it — was the mother’s domain, and dads would step in once kids got “old enough to play with.” Dr. Pruett’s research shows that belief doesn’t just shortchange dads. It shortchanges kids.
Babies who get hands-on caregiving from their fathers early, even when the dad has no idea what he’s doing, show stronger emotional regulation and better outcomes down the line. The science is clear: men can be just as nurturing as women. It’s on-the-job training, the same way it is for moms.
The catch is that most dads avoid the hands-on stuff specifically because they’re scared of doing it wrong. Dr. Pruett’s answer to that fear is two words: progress before perfection. Kids don’t remember whether you did it right the first time. They remember that you showed up and tried.
One week out from Father’s Day. Is there something you’ve been leaving to mom because you’re worried you’ll mess it up? Get in there anyway. That’s the flex, and the research backs it.
“How do I make this Father’s Day different from every other year?”
— Tyler, dad of two, DadderUp community
Honestly, the day itself doesn’t have much control over how it feels. It’s seven hours, give or take. What actually shapes it is the seven days leading up to it.
Think about it like this: If you’ve been distracted, short-tempered, or checked out this year, Father’s Day doesn’t fix that. The pancakes don’t fix that. The card doesn’t fix that. You’ll just spend the day feeling like you don’t deserve the celebration, even while everyone’s celebrating you. That’s a rough feeling, and a lot of dads carry it quietly every single year.
But here’s the good news: You’ve got a full week before that day arrives. That’s enough time to close a loop. Have the conversation you’ve been avoiding. Follow through on the thing you promised. Apologize for the moment you’ve been sitting on. Whatever it is, do it this week.
Then, when Sunday comes, something shifts. You’re not just being celebrated for who you are on paper. You’re being celebrated for something you actually did. That’s the difference between a nice day and a meaningful one.
One week. One thing. Close the loop before Sunday. Make it count.
For years, I didn’t do my daughters’ hair. Not once. In my head, it was a “mom thing.” I told myself their teacher would handle it, or it wasn’t a big deal, or whatever excuse let me off the hook.
The truth was actually much simpler than that. The truth is, I was scared I’d do it wrong.
Then one day, their mom wasn’t around, and it was just me. So I tried. It was rough. Genuinely bad. But I did it again the next day, and the day after that. And now? I do a basic pony better than their mom does, and they ask for me to do it.
I tell this story because I think a lot of dads have their own version of “the hair.” Something they’ve been leaving for someone else to handle, not because they don’t care, but because they’re afraid they’ll mess it up. And every time you skip it, you’re not just missing the task. You’re missing the rep that would’ve made you better at it.
One week out from Father’s Day. Is there something you’ve been avoiding because you’re worried about doing it wrong? Do it badly today. Do it again tomorrow. That’s the whole game: progress before perfection, every single time.
7 days out. What’s your game plan for locking in mentally before Father’s Day?
Dr. Pruett has spent four decades studying fathers at Yale, and one thing he said stuck with me more than anything else in this conversation. There’s a habit almost every dad has that’s quietly undoing the connection he’s trying to build. I had to ask him to repeat it.
Every dad says he’d die for his kids. Fewer dads are willing to live with discipline for them every single day. This is the framework — who, what, where, when, why, and how — that changed the way I show up daily, not just when it’s easy, and how you can too.
We’ll keep showing up with the emails. All we ask? Since we’re officially one week away from Father’s Day, if this landed for you, send it to a dad who could use the nudge.
